City Of Evil (2005) "Sidewinder"

[reprinted as written by Avenged Sevenfold]

I slide through the wasteland that's my world
My hunger takes your life, preyed on to keep me alive, yeah
Mercy's all that you need, mercy's empty in me

Can't you feel the poison rising out of the morning and clear through the night
You can feel my strength destroy you straight to the heart from the venomous bite

That's right I shed my skin tonight but my fangs are hard to hide
And you know that you're going to die, yeah
Mercy's all that you need, mercy's empty to me

Can't you feel the poison rising out of the morning and clear through the night
You can feel my strength destroy you straight to the heart from the venomous bite
I can't regret, can't escape decisions made for me, no control
Fire that burns and never dies, wrapped around I'll bury my fangs inside

Making my way through the night you're still in my sight
You're runnin' away cause you know you can't hide
My instincts are cold blooded hate; to you I'm the bearer of fate
Wrong place and now the wrong time, now terror is all that you'll find

Can't you feel the poison rising straight to the heart of the venomous bite
Can't you feel the poison rising out of the morning and clear through the night
You can feel my strength destroy you straight to the heart from the venomous bite
I can't regret, can't escape decisions made for me, no control
Fire that burns and never dies, wrapped around I'll bury my fangs inside

Stay inside tonight - you're out there all alone
Vanish from my sites - venomous control
You won't make it right - my appetite has grown
Lost the final fight - no love will be shown

When asked what he was thinking about when he wrote this piece, the poet responded, "Sidewinder was basically just to paint a picture of human greed and human nature in the form of a snake. Sliding through the desert, hunting and killing, doing what feels natural. I compared it to a snake because I feel sometimes society makes us hide our human nature and we get punished for natural feelings and instincts."

Sidewinder was a canny choice. Depicting human nature as a snake brings in the imagery of what John the apostle called, in his Revelation, "that ancient serpent, who is the devil and Satan." John was referring to the being which enticed Eve clear back in Genesis, at the dawn of time, a creature described as being "more crafty than any other beast." By aligning with the serpent, Adam's and Eve's natures did become like that Sidewinder of old.

God brought that association into focus during the exodus of His people, when the Hebrews were emigrating from Egypt to Canaan, about four thousand years ago.

They had just won a big battle. As so often happens after the excitement of a victory, the Hebrews were feeling all pumped up and full of themselves. But now they had to walk around Edom, per God's instructions, and it must have seemed like a tiresome and unnecessary chore, especially when they were so close to the border of Canaan, only to have to go backwards to get around the unfriendly Edomites (even if they were brothers). As Moses related the story,

The people became irritable and cross as they traveled. They spoke out against God and Moses: "Why did you drag us out of Egypt to die in this godforsaken country? No decent food; no water—we can't stomach this stuff any longer."

Their impatience revealed a lack of love and a sense of entitlement. They were resentful of God protecting Edom, the unchosen, unfriendly people, and making the Hebrews, the chosen ones, take the longer harder way around. Their resentment sucked all the joy of anticipation out of this part of their journey. Instead of being excited about all the victories that lay ahead, being just months away from their life-long dream, they were poisoning their victory with complaining and being resentful.

The Hebrews were also tired of traveling, and even though Edom was arid, there was water in there, and good food. Now these people had no idea what had been left behind in Egypt. They were just kids, if they had even been born yet, when the exodus had begun thirty-eight years before. But all their lives they had listened to their parents constantly compare their current circumstances with Egypt. Now they were doing the same thing without even knowing what they were really talking about.

What the Hebrews had actually called God’s heavenly bread was “cheat the stomach” food - that’s what those words mean in Hebrew. Now that they saw themselves as he-man soldiers, winning battles, they needed something a bit more hearty than flakes of sparkly white manna.

[God had, for the past forty years, caused a flaky white substance to appear on the ground every morning, enough to feed the entire camp. It tasted sweet, with a hint of coriander, and could be made into both a kind of soup and into bread. They didn't know what this substance was, so they called it "manna," which means "what is it?" in Hebrew. All they did know is that God made it happen, and that it was so nourishing and strengthening they never needed any other kind of food.]

What they didn’t realize is that they were showing contempt for a lot more than God’s grace in making sure they always had food. Thousands of years later Jesus' follower, John, explained that these people were showing contempt for God’s true Bread from Heaven, the Messiah. He was quoting Jesus Himself, Who referred to Himself as being the true manna.

There are a lot of layers in this story. First, God’s discipline of His people was going to illustrate the people’s own poisonous pride, sense of entitlement, resentment and complaining attitude with the burning poisonous venom of snakes. Moses continued,

So God sent poisonous snakes among the people; they bit them and many in Israel died.

Wrapped up in the idea of snakes was the story of the serpent in the Garden of Eden, with his deceiving lies: You deserve better than this, you should be in charge of your own life, God is holding back on you.

The people had rejected the Bread of Heaven, they wanted bread grown from the earth. But God showed them that rejecting the Bread of Heaven results in death. What came up from the earth were snakes, and nobody escaped being bitten. Evidently there are two types of snakes indigenous to this area of the Middle East which have a venom that causes heat, violent inflammation through the whole body, the skin turns red and creates a terrible thirst. The Israelites were getting a vivid picture of their sin

And the people knew it. They knew God was punishing them for their sin, and here is real spiritual growth in this second generation. Before Moses had a chance to intercede for the people they repented

The people came to Moses and said, "We sinned when we spoke out against God and you. Pray to God; ask him to take these snakes from us.

Moses prayed for the people."

God’s way of salvation was not going to be instantaneous. The people had rejected their Bread from Heaven, so God gave them another type of Messiah

God said to Moses, "Make a snake and put it on a flagpole: Whoever is bitten and looks at it will live." So Moses made a snake of fiery copper and put it on top of a flagpole. Anyone bitten by a snake who then looked at the copper snake lived.

God didn’t just take the snakes away. They continued to bite the people, and the people who were bitten would continue to die; they would see and feel the full effects of their sin unless they looked at that snake on a stick.

God’s unusual way of deliverance must have raised some questions:

1) What about not making idols? God had already specifically said they were not to make a cast image of any creature or any anything. Yet now Moses was making a shiny, golden looking snake. How could this be different than making an idol? So think about how that snake must have been anchored to the stick. This is the very image Jesus talking about when He referred to Himself as being lifted up (John relayed this story in his gospel). The phrase “lifted up” in Jesus’ day was a euphemism for being crucified.

The snake was either nailed or skewered. God gave His people a visual of the penalty for sin skewered on a pole – just as the Passover lamb was also skewered on a stick once a year. Just as the Lord Jesus Christ, Who became sin, was nailed to the cross.

When the people looked at the snake, they were looking at the result of their own sin. By His grace, God had skewered their sin to a stick, and if they would just believe that God would forgive them, and thank Him for His grace, they would be healed.

2) What about the fact that this was a serpent, the ultimate symbol of evil, due to the serpent in the Garden of Eden? Again, think of the snake nailed to the stick. This was not an image to worship, but to see that God had conquered the serpent and all it stood for: the triumph of sin and its penalty of death was now, in turn, defeated by God Himself. Remember that bronze was what covered the altar, which burnt all the sin sacrifices. God’s power was more powerful than the serpent, which would be overcome by the sacrifice the perfect lamb, God the Son, the Lord Jesus Christ.

The people had referred to God’s gracious Bread of Heaven as a worthless food, something that wouldn’t nourish them. They had received a sting instead of a blessing, dying instead of being nourished and kept alive by what they called worthless bread. Now God gave them something to transform their thinking, a symbol of death becoming the source of life and deliverance.

There was no cure for the snake bite. No medicine to take, no therapy to do, no workshops, no bio-feedback loops, no ten step method to recovery. There was only one way to survive the snake bite and live, and that was to look at the bronze snake skewered on a pole. But the power of life was not in the bronze snake, it was in God.

Think of all the layers in this story:
1. Just as every Hebrew was bitten, so all people today are bitten by sin, and succumb to its venom

2. The snake bite was painful and ended in death, just as sin causes untold harm in the world today, and its penalty is death and eternal judgment

3. The only remedy for this condition was to look to God’s picture of redemption, the source of the pain nailed to a pole, just as Jesus, Who became sin for us, was lifted up on a cross

4. No one could save themselves. The only salvation available was what God graciously provided, and if you rejected it, you died, just as today the Lord Jesus Christ is the only way to be reconciled to God and be saved. To reject Jesus is to remain under the penalty of sin.

5. That serpent on the stick had no venom, just as Jesus was Himself without sin. The sinless one became your sin and mine, and all the sin of everyone.

6. As soon as the bitten person looked at the snake, they were saved from physical death, just as the moment you put your faith in Jesus you are made spiritually alive, and are saved from eternal death

7. This remedy was made effective only because of God’s grace, His willingness to forgive, and by God’s supernatural power to heal. In the same way, it is only through God’s gift of belief and faith, what we call grace, that saves today

8. This wasn’t a blanket remedy. Each individual had to look for themselves at the snake, just as today you, personally, must make a decision about what you believe. No one can make that decision for you.

Are you experiencing the negative effects of some sin that has you in it’s grip? An overindulgence in some pleasure, a total focus on self, laziness, a wrong relationship, addiction to something? There are all kinds of solutions out there that claim to help you and me get some temporary relief, and some measure of control over these things. But the only permanent cure is to look to the Lord Jesus Christ to deliver you.

You and I are better off admitting that we’ve got sin, we’ve been bitten by the snake, and that’s why we’re hurting. Because then we’ll look to the Lord for deliverance.

There is something deep and wonderful in God’s response to the Hebrews’ repentance. This new generation (the older generation had all already died in the desert by the time of this story) was spiritually more sensitive, closer to God. They were in a better place spiritually than the previous generation. They were ready to have their faith built up. They were prepared to understand what it meant to look by faith, and believe in God’s grace.

The truth is, looking to Jesus, the rescuer, in faith is the only way to be delivered from sin and death

Where are you right now in your own faith journey? How spiritually sensitive are you, how spiritually responsive to God? Is something really hard happening in your life right now? Maybe God is doing something deep and wonderful in you, too, maybe you are ready to have your faith built up.

Maybe that's why the poet brings this thought out, throughout his song,

Mercy's all that you need

God has the mercy, not the serpent, who would have to say mercy's empty to mee

If this post got you to thinking, please leave a comment and join the conversation

City Of Evil (2005) "Seize The Day"

[reprinted as written by Avenged Sevenfold]
A7X's official video

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
These streets we travel on will undergo our same lost past

I found you here, now please just stay for a while
I can move on with you around
I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?
I'd do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done
We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry (a melody, a memory, or just one picture)

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Newborn life replacing all of us, changing this fable we live in
No longer needed here so where do we go?
Will you take a journey tonight, follow me past the walls of death?
But girl, what if there is no eternal life?

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry (a melody, a memory, or just one picture)

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

So, what if I never hold you, yeah, or kiss your lips again?
Woooaaah, so I never want to leave you and the memories of us to see
I beg don't leave me

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

Silence you lost me, no chance for one more day [x2 then continues in the background]
I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home
I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home

The poet begins with the wisdom he will unfold throughout his song,

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost

There's no way to know how long you and I have to enjoy what we have, so live each moment to its fullest, make the most of what you have, be thankful for it, love richly and deeply, savor every good thing. Tomorrow may never come,

I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?
I'd do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done
We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you

The poet muses about life, mortal life, the cycle of life, newborn life replacing those who age and die. And for those of us who are aging, where do we go? Does love last beyond this life?

No longer needed here so where do we go?
Will you take a journey tonight, follow me past the walls of death?
But girl, what if there is no eternal life?

...Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here Please tell me what we have is real

At some point in this life the tragic will happen, and you and I will be left behind when someone we dearly love dies,

It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

That pain is hard to describe. People say time heals all wounds, but in reality time usually just gives us...time. Time to get used to the ache, time to learn how to live with that empty place in our hearts. Then comes a different way of sorrowing,

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time

When the beloved's face eludes memory, the sound of their voice, that way they would laugh, or toss their head, or move their hand.

If there is no eternity, then now is all we have.

The band illustrates this song in their video (link above) with another layer, with a sort of cosmic justice at work. Every action bears fruit of some kind, the good (love) to life, the bad (holding up a convenience store) to death. When you and I seize the day, what is it we'll do? Will we choose the good, or will we choose the bad? And if the bad, how steep will be the price?

Again a biblical theme comes through,

Don't be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he'll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God's Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life.

So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all

Yes, there is eternal life, and love is real. And also yes, there will always be a price to pay when you and I choose to seize the day with something bad, but we can never know how deep and long and wide the price will be. Sometimes a little mistake causes a lifetime of terrible pain.

If this post got you to thinking, please leave a comment and join the conversation

City Of Evil (2005) "Trashed And Scattered"

[reprinted as written by Avenged Sevenfold]
As performed by A7X, uncensored version (pretty salty)

Keep on writing you're just raping yourself (nothing can take my mind away from them)
Don't you ask about me, ask 'bout somebody else (Once I've fallen there's many stories to tell)
I can feel it, won't embrace it, it's overwhelming how far you take it (Stuck in a state of questioning)
And don't you tell me you know we're destined, you won't convince me, I won't listen (Resentment building, you've put our lives on hold)

Trashed and scattered again, I'm feelin' so low
You waste your breath while f****n' with me, my blood is so cold
My destination always unknown, I'll find my way there
but g*****n motherf***ers always wasting my time

I won't be the victim, but the first to cast a stone
Sedated nights to the bar room fights as metropolis takes its toll
And don't you try to stop me, it's a place you'll never know
Don't try to judge or take shots at me, I'll never let you seize control

Play your game you better walk away cause your integrity don't mean sh*t
Crawl on me you f***ing parasite, and I'm gonna take you out

Label me, that's fine, I'll be somebody else (Nothing in front of me but holes ahead)
Lie about my life, have a story to tell (Lights went down, was on the edge and I fell)
Oh you're so insightful, let me remind you to twist and break me, should make you worried (Long way to go and you're right there)
Two-faced liar, don't try and know me, deceit brings fire, makes sure you can't breathe (Pick at pieces of my body below)

I never bothered with all the rumors, too much garbage (all the same)
(I know my destination)
I'll stand right here, come on you falsehood deceitful liar (There's no shame)
Don't ever take my side, I know you're never right, I'll justify the means (Nothing's what it seems)
I'll stand around and fight, but there's no point tonight, been chained to this machine
Trashed and scattered again, I'm feelin' so low
You waste your breath while f****n' with me, my blood is so cold
My destination always is known, I'll find my way there
but G*****n Imposter are you out of your mind?

I walk down these roads alone and now you're seen here
My feelings that I'm having towards you are perfectly clear (I control this ride)
My devils appetite is tonight and now I'm alright
But you G*****n Motherf***ers always wasting my time

Play your game you better walk away cause your integrity don't mean sh*t
Crawl on me you f***ing parasite, and I'm gonna take you out

I won't be the victim, but the first to cast a stone
Sedated nights to the bar room fights as metropolis takes its toll
And don't you try to stop me, it's a place you'll never know
Don't try to judge or take shots at me, I'll never let you seize control

Don' try and get the best of me (No one can help but your own self)
City makes my body ache (Lonely, don't try and prey on me)
I feel your world dying, no more use in tryin'

And my body's trashed and low, but to you I'll never show myself or what's inside
And I've seen it all before and I'll settle the score, I'll never join your side

The poet gets rough and raw as he describes what it's like to be on the other end of judgment,

I can feel it, won't embrace it, it's overwhelming how far you take it (Stuck in a state of questioning)

The poet seeks to turn the tables, instead of being the victim, he'll "throw the first stone," referring to a story one of Jesus' followers, John, told about Him,

It was around the time of the Feast of Tabernacles. Jesus was sitting on a marble bench, teaching the crowds around Him, while the giant menorahs in the background lit up the golden walls of the temple. In came some Pharisees and scribes dragging along a tousled young woman, who was crying. They pulled her through the crowd until they were standing right in front of Jesus,

They stood her in plain sight of everyone and said, "Teacher, this woman was caught red-handed in the act of adultery. Moses, in the Law, gives orders to stone such persons. What do you say?" They were trying to trap him into saying something incriminating so they could bring charges against him.

There are two passages they were referring to, both from Torah, the books of Moses: Leviticus 20:10 says that both the man and the woman are to be put to death. In Jesus’ day the method of execution for adultery was strangulation. But in Deuteronomy 22:23-24 if the woman was betrothed to a man, therefore a virgin, and committed adultery, then the two were to be stoned. So this was probably a young woman, maybe a girl as young as thirteen.

Where was the man? The law required that both be put to death, and the Pharisees claimed they’d caught her “in the act.” Was the man in on the plot? Was he also a scribe or Pharisee? In Jesus’ day it was common for rabbis to go from town to town to teach. In each town the rabbi would find a woman that pleased him and he would marry her. When he was ready to leave that town he would divorce her, and marry another woman in the next town. It may have looked legal, but Jesus had already pronounced that such practices were adultery.

The trap should have been airtight. They were banking on Jesus losing the people’s sympathy if He tried to uphold this unpopular and seldom enforced law. Even Jesus' adoptive father, Joseph, a righteous man, had thirty years before planned on quietly releasing Mary from their betrothal, rather than have her stoned. And in any case, because of the Roman occupation, the Jews weren’t allowed to exact the death penalty, so Jesus would have gone to prison.

On the other hand, if Jesus didn’t uphold the law, they would expose Him as a fraud who didn’t keep God’s word.

Weirdly, as He was sitting there, Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground while they kept pressing Him to make a judgment. Nobody knows what Jesus wrote. Finally He stood up and said, “You’re right,”

"The sinless one among you, go first: Throw the stone"

And bent down to write some more things on the ground. Some think Jesus wrote a list of everyone present who was an adulterer one way or the other. Others think Jesus started writing down everyone’s sins.

Jesus had read their hearts and knew that it wasn’t God’s law they were concerned about. They weren’t concerned about purity or the sanctity of marriage. They were supposed to be the shepherds of God’s flock, but instead they were eager to kill His lambs. To these religious authorities the girl’s life was expendable, she meant nothing more to them than a tool to trap Jesus with. What they were really doing was using God’s word to try and trap God. When do you and I try to trap God that way, making His word say what we would like it to say and somehow trapping God into condoning or allowing what we want from Him?

Whatever it is Jesus wrote, one by one, the men dropped their stones and silently went away until all her accusers were gone.

Jesus also read the young woman’s heart. She knew she had sinned and made no excuse for herself. She didn’t try to slip away. She owned her guilt before Jesus, acknowledging He was Lord. Jesus would not condemn her. He forgave her on His authority as God. Jesus gives comfort to the guilty. He set her free, free from her accusers, free from the penalty of death because of what she had been caught in, and even free from her guilt.

But it’s not as though Jesus did not think what the woman had done was unimportant. He told her that what she had been caught in was sin. She was not to engage in it anymore.

The amazing truth is that Jesus has the power to set people free from sin and death

In a sense, this was the best day of her life. If she hadn’t have been caught, she would not have had this moment alone with the Lord. Yes, it was a humiliating, terrifying, devastating. But Jesus had set her free. What sin would you like to be set free from? How willing are you to confess it to Jesus and have this moment with Him?

On the other hand, look at the scribes and Pharisees. They condoned and rationalized their own sin and at the same time were eager to see sin punished in other people’s lives, even to the death, rather than to see them forgiven and restored.

The principle Jesus was working from is found in the famous sermon he gave early on in His career, what people call the Sermon on the Mount,

Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own.

Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

Strong words! But look at what happens when you and I get all judgmental on someone instead of loving them and wanting to do all we can to help them and restore them,

Don't try to judge or take shots at me, I'll never let you seize control
Don' try and get the best of me (No one can help but your own self)
City makes my body ache (Lonely, don't try and prey on me)
I feel your world dying, no more use in tryin'
And my body's trashed and low, but to you I'll never show myself or what's inside
And I've seen it all before and I'll settle the score, I'll never join your side

If this post got you to thinking, please leave a comment and join the conversation

City Of Evil (2005) "Bat Country"

[reprinted as written by Avenged Sevenfold]
A7X official video

He who makes a beast out of himself
Gets rid of the pain of being a man

Caught here in a fiery blaze, won't lose my will to stay.

I tried to drive all through the night,
The heart stroke ridden weather, the barren empty sights.
No oasis here to see, the sand is singing deathless words to me.

Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn (all alone).
Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction.
My confidence is leaving me on my own (all alone).
No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention.

As I adjust to my new sights the rarely tired lights will take me to new heights.
My hand is on the trigger I'm ready to ignite.
Tomorrow might not make it but everything's all right.
Mental fiction follows me; show me what it's like to be set free.

Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn (all alone).
Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction.
My confidence is leaving me on my own (all alone).
No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention.

So sorry you're not here I've been sane too long my vision's so unclear.
Now take a trip with me but don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem.

Caught here in a fiery blaze, won't lose my will to stay.
These eyes won't see the same, after I flip today.

Sometimes I don't know why we'd rather live than die,
we look up towards the sky for answers to our lives.
We may get some solutions but more just pass us by,
don't want your absolution cause I can't make it right.
I'll make a beast out of myself, gets rid of all the pain of being a man.

Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn (all alone).
Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction.
My confidence is leaving me on my own (all alone).
No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention.

So sorry you're not here I've been sane too long my vision's so unclear.
Now take a trip with me but don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem.
I've known it from the start all these good ideas will tear your brain apart.
Scared but you can follow me I'm too weird to live but much too rare to die

The poet delivers a sort of tongue-in-cheek view of the high rollin' lifestyle he and the rest of his merry band lead -- good times, good times. What he describes is the hedonist's utopia.

"Hedonism is a school of ethics (ethics, also known as "moral philosophy," is a branch of philosophy that addresses questions about morality—that is, concepts such as good and bad, noble and ignoble, right and wrong, justice, and virtue) which argues that pleasure is the only intrinsic good.

The basic idea behind hedonistic thought is that pleasure is the only thing that has intrinsic value. This is often used as a justification for evaluating actions in terms of how much pleasure and how little pain (i.e. suffering) they produce. In very simple terms, a hedonist strives to maximize this net pleasure (pleasure minus pain)."

When watching A7X's official video it's clear that hedonism is the central theme, but there is also an underlying warning: with the pursuit of pleasure also comes the price, knowingly paid by the poet and his compatriots. There is an exchange of the soul so that the man becomes a beast.

Sometimes I don't know why we'd rather live than die,
we look up towards the sky for answers to our lives.
We may get some solutions but more just pass us by,
don't want your absolution cause I can't make it right.
I'll make a beast out of myself, gets rid of all the pain of being a man.

Is it worth it?

On the one hand you and I have the promise of maybe seventy or eighty years of life on this planet. We can squeeze quite a lot of pleasure out of those years if we have the resources. But even at that, much of what we consider pleasurable has a poison in it. Indulge yourself and you will reap the physical byproducts of disease, parasites, waste and decay. Age ends up not being so much a matter of years, but of mileage.

And that's only the earthly price. What of the spiritual price of exchanging one's soul for a "trip," as the poet refers to this journey into Bat country (the world of A7X, the world of hedonism)? Is eighty years of declining health and mental capacity due to indulgence heavy enough to weight the balance of eternity?

It's not that pleasure is wrong, or that the pursuit of pleasure is wrong. Think of it this way, the way Paul, an early follower of Jesus, put it:

"All things are lawful for me," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful for me," but I will not be enslaved by anything.

and

"All things are lawful," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful," but not all things build up.

The emphasis for those who follow hedonism is escape from pain through self indulgence. Think what that will do to your relationships alone, when selfish, self-centered and self-indulgent people get involved with each other.

But for those who follow the way of Jesus, Paul wrote,

If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death

Think of that while you read the poet's spiritual lament,

Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn (all alone).
Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction.
My confidence is leaving me on my own (all alone).
No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention.

Self-centered versus other-centered, a radically different lifestyle. Pleasure, joy, enjoyment, it's all there, for followers of the Way, but it's being given to each other instead of being taken from each other.

If this post got you to thinking, please leave a comment and join the conversation

City Of Evil (2005) "Blinded In Chains"

[reprinted as written by Avenged Sevenfold]
As performed by A7X

And we're at it again, I turn around another f***ing war, man
I don't know where to begin, but I'll start with the radical leaders
Their steps we're followin'

Running, don't go back and fight, too many you'll lose
(And as clowns you follow suit behind the blood between the red and white and blue but it's too deep for you to see and
everyone eventually will take the step cause it's in sight you take the left I'll take the right I fell the hate you've built
for me and I say pay attention baby)

As they thank the Lord the blind can't see
Like a plague fed to the brain, deadly disease

But it wasn't a sin, a sorry life in judging every action
And as they're feeding your mind with this sh*t you forgot
How to speak how to ask all the questions

The business at hand tonight, make the people choose
(I see another side in you but there's not much more I can do from on the outside looking in your government is listenin' to
push you on the story of immortal father mortal son give them your mind and all your wealth the cycle will rebirth itself)
If they had it their way I'd burn in Hell and your future's a f****n' disaster can't you see
Don't give them all the power when your future's in desperate trouble baby

As they thank the Lord the blind can't see
Like a plague fed to the brain, deadly disease
I'd run away tonight with my mind still intact you gotta make it alright
Easier said than done with no place to hide and having no place to (run)
Running away from condition, I see you but you're running away from
Your scared seductive system

Most would claim I live a lie when pointing out it's easy to predict these things
Every color has its side, they live together vote and most won't read between these lines
Please help us, please save us of coarse they have control we're all the same
Up on the cross, crucified their problem drove the nail and let Him rot
Family and friends, it won't matter in the end I'm sure they'll understand
Now look at the world and see how the humans bleed
As I sit up here and wonder "bout how you sold your mind, body and soul
Looking at the fields so green I know this sounds obscene
I see you're living for tomorrow but decisions you have made will leave you empty

You've fallen asleep in denial
Look at the way we're dyin'
How it ends I'll never know
Just live your life blind like me

The poet himself has weighed in on this piece, saying "Blinded in Chains has to do with all of our political parties always fighting over little thing and never really coming together for a common good. Everyone knows its unproductive, but we all continue to support that system of government. It also is a tribute on how this country was started and how we became what we are, our characteristics and our flaws, and how I feel some of our flaws are what makes the USA great"

With canny insight, he describes within his poem another ancient travesty that was brought about by politics. Incredibly, the powerful elite were not a bit bothered about taking God down when His way went against theirs. Yes, they knew what they were doing, but they were so blinded by their own desire for power that they did not truly absorb the eternal implications of what they actually had done,

Up on the cross, crucified their problem drove the nail and let Him rot
Family and friends, it won't matter in the end I'm sure they'll understand
Now look at the world and see how the humans bleed As I sit up here and wonder 'bout how you sold your mind, body and soul

Same thing, isn't it. Somehow the religious and political intelligentsia of Jesus' day got the people to agree to murder the one person who was on their side, so that not even His own mother stood up to defend Him as He hauled His cross through the streets of Jerusalem (that's why the Romans did it that way, so that even at this last possible juncture, if someone had a defense, they could step forward, halt the proceedings and bring in their disputation).

And so today, sometimes you and I are willing to allow ourselves to be persuaded to conduct a war that doesn't really help us, or help the world, that is actually only serving the agendas of the politicos.

And yet that ancient murder, as sickening as it was, changed everything for all eternity, it is the fulcrum that swings you and me from hell to heaven if we so choose to believe it.

As a Roman governor, Pilate was pledged to uphold the law. But as a politician, he knew he had to get along with the people. He tried to set Jesus free in all kinds of ways, finally offering to do a prisoner exchange: the known terrorist Barabbas for Jesus. But the Jewish religious leaders threatened Pilate by saying he was no friend of Caesar’s if he did that (insinuating treason). Here's how Jesus' disciple Matthew described what happened:

When Pilate saw that he was getting nowhere and that a riot was imminent, he took a basin of water and washed his hands in full sight of the crowd, saying, "I'm washing my hands of responsibility for this man's death. From now on, it's in your hands. You're judge and jury."

Washing his hands was Pilate’s final attempt to absolve himself of all responsibility in putting an innocent man, possibly even the king of Israel, the Son of God, to death. But God had given Pilate plenty of insight, and authority, to do what was right. His long, private talk with Jesus had troubled him. His wife had sent him a message about her dream, something Romans took very seriously.

He knew the only thing the Jewish leaders had against their Messiah was their own envy. Pilate knew that he had power in the situation, and Jesus had told him that he would be guilty of sin if he handed Jesus over to be crucified. But he did it anyway, because it seemed expedient, and you know God holds him responsible.

In turn, the religious leaders, and all the people gathered, were willing to take responsibility for killing their own king and savior,

The crowd answered, "We'll take the blame, we and our children after us."

God did hold them accountable, and their children too, in 70 A.D. (look it up in Wikipedia, the blood from the slaughter was so thick, eye witnesses said it ran down the streets like rivers).

John, another of Jesus' disciples who had inner connections with the priestly system, remembered something that had happened a little earlier, when Jesus had raised his friend Lazarus from the dead,

That was a turnaround for many of the Jews who were with Mary. They saw what Jesus did, and believed in him. But some went back to the Pharisees and told on Jesus. The high priests and Pharisees called a meeting of the Jewish ruling body.

"What do we do now?" they asked. "This man keeps on doing things, creating God-signs. If we let him go on, pretty soon everyone will be believing in him and the Romans will come and remove what little power and privilege we still have."

Then one of them—it was Caiaphas, the designated Chief Priest that year—spoke up, "Don't you know anything? Can't you see that it's to our advantage that one man dies for the people rather than the whole nation be destroyed?" He didn't say this of his own accord, but as Chief Priest that year he unwittingly prophesied that Jesus was about to die sacrificially for the nation, and not only for the nation but so that all God's exile-scattered children might be gathered together into one people.

From that day on, they plotted to kill him.

This concept of one dying in the place of others was deeply embedded in the Jewish culture and religion, stemming way back to Abraham, and even further back, to Cain and Abel.

The chief Greek term for expressing this principle of substitution is "huper": it means "on behalf of" or "in another's place." This idea of huper, or substitution, is the chief salvation concept in the Bible. You and I are saved because God sent the Lord Jesus Christ to die huper ("on behalf of") us, or "in our place." You and I receive undeserved mercy and escape the inevitable price of sin, which is death.

It's important to see both sides of substitution: God treated Jesus the way you and I deserved to be treated, so that He could treat us in the way that only His beloved Son deserves to be treated. Jesus died as the perfect for the imperfect, the sinless for the sinful, and He lived the life of perfect obedience required for our salvation and sanctification. He stood in our place, as a sinner, and bore the full force of the wrath of God for our rebellion against God. As a result, we are able to stand before God "as Christ" and be seen in His righteousness.

But it isn't as though the Lord Jesus merely switches places with you, as He did with Barabbas. There is no guarantee that Barabbas was a reformed man after he was given unexpected freedom and pardon. He may have just gone back out and committed more notorious crimes. But that's not what "huper" is all about in the Bible. In the Bible Jesus actually became your sin, and mine, so that we could be conformed to His righteousness, we could actually have a brand new, righteous nature created within us

Here's the concept: Jesus died in your place so that you can live with Him in His place

You and I are often tempted to take the path of least resistance. Let’s not rock the boat, let’s not upset people, let’s just go with the flow. Sometimes that’s the wise thing to do. But sometimes doing what is expedient means compromising your integrity. When have you tried to rationalize taking the easy way out of a tough situation? When have you allowed yourself to feel a little uncomfortable inside, because you know you’re people pleasing instead of seeking to please God in a situation?

In the words of the poet,

But it wasn't a sin, a sorry life in judging every action
And as they're feeding your mind with this sh*t you forgot
How to speak how to ask all the questions

Think about this, then, and what's right even if it's the hard thing to do, and the unpopular thing to do.

If this post got you to thinking, please leave a comment and join the conversation

City Of Evil (2005) "Burn It Down"

[reprinted as written by Avenged Sevenfold]
A7X official video

Jealousy's an ugly word, but you don't seem to care
Converse behind my back, but now I'm here
Need no one to comply with me though everyone that I defeat
Don't need you, f--k camaraderie, this rage will never go away

Hatred fuels my blood, I'll burn ya down (you can't help me)
One king to watch the horsemen fall, I'll fight 'til the end (I won't help you)
I can't trust anyone, see it in my eyes
Now I can understand, it's sorrow that feeds your lies

You're on my back when the water gets too deep for you to breath
A crutch for you that won't always be there
Hide in the dark another day, the fear in you is here to stay
So get the f--k away from me, and learn to trust the words I say.

Hatred fuels my blood, I'll burn ya down (you can't help me)
One king to watch the horsemen fall, I'll fight 'til the end (I won't help you)
I can't trust anyone, witness and see it in my eyes
Now I can understand, put faith in you for the last time
It's sorrow that feeds your lies

Run from me before I tear you down (be afraid)
You chose the wrong side (it feels so right)
I won't help you, let you rot away
Run towards the light exposing your soul (we won't be there by your side)
Salvation's dying (somebody's crying)
We're all gone in the end, sweet child we'll miss you
No, so far away

I can't trust anyone, witness and see it in my eyes
Now I can understand, put faith in you for the last time
It's sorrow that feeds your lies

Falling away, can't turn back time
Burn it down anyway

Relationships are always going to be complicated, even with the most easy-going low-maintenance people. But here the poet finds himself being slandered behind his back. The sense of camaraderie has become tainted with his discovery of this ongoing betrayal. Even worse, the treachery has been committed by someone who relied heavily on the poet for strength and courage, and even for rescue. All this time the poet was himself a good and faithful friend, who believed the best in this person, time and again.

But this last act of betrayal has finally broken all trust, and what was once love has turned into rage and even hatred. With poetic vision, the poet cries out as a king with his horsemen rallying to battle in which, even when every horseman falls, the king will fight to the last and burn down the enemy.

The faithless friend has evidently hidden in the dark, a fearful and sad person who tries to manage relationships with lies (manipulation). Now, with fury, the poet drives the betrayer towards the light, to expose his or her treacherous soul.

Is there a hint of sympathy, perhaps? Even as the the poet cries out for revenge, that the false friend should rot away, announcing that the salvation he or she found in the poet's friendship is now dying away, there is this one line,

(somebody's crying) We're all gone in the end, sweet child we'll miss you No, so far away

As the poet envisions his betrayer, and their relationship, falling away.

Love and hate are not opposites, but stem from the same passion of the heart. It is indifference which is the opposite of both love and hate. Think of love and hate as fire. The one warms, the other burns, the one provides life the other brings death. A young shepherd, thousands of years ago, mused on these two aspects of fire and light, what happens when the warmth and goodness of the sun's rays fell on fertile earth (a good relationship that responds to love by bringing forth verdant life) or desert (a bad, dysfunctional relationship that manipulates)

The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.
Day to day pours out speech,
and night to night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech, nor are there words,
whose voice is not heard.
Their voice goes out through all the earth,
and their words to the end of the world.
In them he has set a tent for the sun,
which comes out like a bridegroom leaving his chamber,
and, like a strong man, runs its course with joy.
Its rising is from the end of the heavens,
and its circuit to the end of them,
and there is nothing hidden from its heat.

Nothing hidden from the heat of the sun, God's glory, light and fire. God's glory is described as His people's guide, a pillar of cloud by day, a pillar of fire by night. But occasionally that glory was also a purifying bolt of raw power, turning to ash those who betrayed God. The fire that cut a unilateral covenant of love with Abraham is also the refiner's fire, purging God's people of everything wrong.

So the poet's deep and sacrificial love changed into aggrieved fury, and in that he was able to experience a shadow of what the Lord experiences with you and me when we betray Him. Do we wonder at the concept of hell? I don't think the poet does,

Falling away, can't turn back time
Burn it down anyway

But where the poet ends his reprobation in utter rejection, God's song has only begun,

God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.

God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.

When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.

Why? Because the Master won't ever
walk out and fail to return.
If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
in throwing roadblocks in the way

God loves fiercely, He loves with fire, just as the poet does. But the fire of God's wrath is held back from those who justly deserve it (by which I mean everybody) because the heat of God's love burns so bright, and for so long (eternity) that He is patient to wait until His love is returned, until dysfunctional relationships heal and become rich and life producing, until sorrow and lies are traded up for joy and truth.

If this post got you to thinking, please leave a comment and join the conversation

City Of Evil (2005) "Beast And The Harlot"

[reprinted as written by Avenged Sevenfold]
A7X official video

This shining city built of gold, a far cry from innocence
There's more than meets the eye round here look to the waters of the deep.
A city of evil
There sat a seven-headed beast, ten horns raised from his head
Symbolic woman sits on his thrown but hatred strips her and leaves her naked.
The Beast and the Harlot.

She's a dwelling place for demons, she's a cage for every unclean spirit every filthy bird
and makes us drink the poisoned wine to fornicating with our kings.
Fallen now is Babylon the Great.

The city dressed in jewels and gold, fine linen, Myrrh and pearls
Her plagues will come all at once as her mourners watch her burn.
Destroyed in an hour
Merchants and captains of the world, sailors navigators too
Will weep and mourn this loss with her sins piled to the sky
The Beast and the Harlot.

The day has come for all us sinners, if your not a servant you'll be struck to the ground.
Flee the burning, greedy city looking back on her to see there's nothin' around.
I don't believe in fairytales and no one wants to go to Hell, but we made the wrong decision
and it's easy to see. Now if you wanna serve above or be a king below with us your
welcome to the city where your future is set forever

The poet turns once again to the Bible for his inspiration, this time to what's called the "new testament," the stories that arose around the Rescuer, Jesus.

Jesus' youngest disciple, John, son of Zebedee, outlived all the other disciples by a wide margin. Late in his life John ended up being exiled to the Island of Patmos. Sort of like an ancient Alcatraz, Patmos was a prison, and John was put into solitary confinement.

One Sunday morning (the earliest Christians called it "the Lord's Day," referring to the day when Jesus rose from the dead), John was caught up in a vision concerning what would happen in the last days of humankind's history. With trembling hands he did the best he could to record what he experienced those two thousand years ago, and ever since people have been trying to figure it all out. Chances are we won't totally understand John's vision, his "revelation," until it all falls out in real life.

This poem sings about what John described in Revelation 13 and Revelation 17, excerpts below,

And the Dragon stood on the shore of the sea. I saw a Beast rising from the sea. It had ten horns and seven heads—on each horn a crown, and each head inscribed with a blasphemous name. The Beast I saw looked like a leopard with bear paws and a lion's mouth. The Dragon turned over its power to it, its throne and great authority.

One of the Beast's heads looked as if it had been struck a deathblow, and then healed. The whole earth was agog, gaping at the Beast. They worshiped the Dragon who gave the Beast authority, and they worshiped the Beast, exclaiming, "There's never been anything like the Beast! No one would dare go to war with the Beast!"

The Beast had a loud mouth, boastful and blasphemous. It could do anything it wanted for forty-two months. It yelled blasphemies against God, blasphemed his Name, blasphemed his Church, especially those already dwelling with God in Heaven. It was permitted to make war on God's holy people and conquer them. It held absolute sway over all tribes and peoples, tongues and races. Everyone on earth whose name was not written from the world's foundation in the slaughtered Lamb's Book of Life will worship the Beast.

Are you listening to this? They've made their bed; now they must lie in it. Anyone marked for prison goes straight to prison; anyone pulling a sword goes down by the sword. Meanwhile, God's holy people passionately and faithfully stand their ground...

...One of the Seven Angels who carried the seven bowls came and invited me, "Come, I'll show you the judgment of the great Whore who sits enthroned over many waters, the Whore with whom the kings of the earth have gone whoring, show you the judgment on earth dwellers drunk on her whorish lust."

In the Spirit he carried me out in the desert. I saw a woman mounted on a Scarlet Beast. Stuffed with blasphemies, the Beast had seven heads and ten horns. The woman was dressed in purple and scarlet, festooned with gold and gems and pearls. She held a gold chalice in her hand, brimming with defiling obscenities, her foul fornications. A riddle-name was branded on her forehead: great babylon, mother of whores and abominations of the earth. I could see that the woman was drunk, drunk on the blood of God's holy people, drunk on the blood of the martyrs of Jesus.

Astonished, I rubbed my eyes. I shook my head in wonder. The Angel said, "Does this surprise you? Let me tell you the riddle of the woman and the Beast she rides, the Beast with seven heads and ten horns. The Beast you saw once was, is no longer, and is about to ascend from the Abyss and head straight for Hell. Earth dwellers whose names weren't written in the Book of Life from the foundation of the world will be dazzled when they see the Beast that once was, is no longer, and is to come.

"But don't drop your guard. Use your head. The seven heads are seven hills; they are where the woman sits. They are also seven kings: five dead, one living, the other not yet here—and when he does come his time will be brief. The Beast that once was and is no longer is both an eighth and one of the seven—and headed for Hell.

"The ten horns you saw are ten kings, but they're not yet in power. They will come to power with the Scarlet Beast, but won't last long—a very brief reign. These kings will agree to turn over their power and authority to the Beast. They will go to war against the Lamb but the Lamb will defeat them, proof that he is Lord over all lords, King over all kings, and those with him will be the called, chosen, and faithful."

The Angel continued, "The waters you saw on which the Whore was enthroned are peoples and crowds, nations and languages. And the ten horns you saw, together with the Beast, will turn on the Whore—they'll hate her, violate her, strip her naked, rip her apart with their teeth, then set fire to her. It was God who put the idea in their heads to turn over their rule to the Beast until the words of God are completed. The woman you saw is the great city, tyrannizing the kings of the earth."

It's quite a story. The poet, as he read through this material, rightly summed it up ~

I don't believe in fairytales and no one wants to go to Hell, but we made the wrong decision and it's easy to see. Now if you wanna serve above or be a king below with us your welcome to the city where your future is set forever

He recognizes the allegiances represented in this vision. Unless one allies with God, one is automatically allied with those in the "City of Evil," code name "Babylon."

It's easy enough today to laugh about it. In fact, in one Youtube vid of a live concert, Matt does laugh, affectionately calling Long Beach a little "city of evil" all it's own, something everyone present thought was hilarious good fun. Nevertheless, his conclusion hangs in the air: nobody wants to go to hell, and it seems laughable to believe in the bizarre tales John relates in his revelation....but what if it's true? Then all the kings, and their subjects, have made a fatal mistake allying with the Beast and his harlot, and their future is indeed set: the eternal burning fire that razes all in its path.

If this post got you to thinking, please leave a comment and join the conversation

Waking The Fallen (2003) "And All Things Will End"

[reprinted as written by Avenged Sevenfold]
As performed by A7X

Lived through you,
safe with how we lived our lives,
with how it all turned out.
(But things are bound to change)
Uncovered lies, surfaced throughout,
will make you change your mind

Sometimes life is altered
Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

When I see you, I can read it in your eyes,
fate misunderstood.
(But things are bound to change)
Swallowed the lies, can't blame you for,
thinking with your heart.

Sometimes life is altered.
Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
Uneasy with confrontation.
Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

I see my world crumble and fall, before my eyes
I know, I know.
Dark will turn to light, in time I'll be alright
I know, I know
(I never imagined my life could turn out this way
So cold so black so alone)

Living goes by fast, catch your breath
and it will pass you by.
And it won't last, to sulk with the memories you hold.

Sometimes life is altered.
Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
Uneasy with confrontation.
Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

As the poet muses on the unexpected twists and turns of life, he observes that though sometimes what seems hopeless will end in light, and sometimes what seemed good won't turn out right, in the end...there will always be an ending. The song makes the point dramatically as one by one each instrument winds down and the sounds become sporadic, softer and finally, in darkness, comes to an...end.

Knowing that, how should we live? Can we slow down time? Can we suspend the good moments in the air and savor them extra long? Will we be given the luxury to sulk as long as we want to over the disappointments in life?

Some people, as the poet first observes, want to live safe lives, perhaps thinking that by keeping out the risks the pain can be kept out too. Sometimes people put their hopes into an ideal that just isn't true. But at some point, the poet warns, dewy idealism will turn into bitter cynicism.

What is it the poet thinks is false hope?

I see my world crumble and fall, before my eyes
I know, I know.
Dark will turn to light, in time I'll be alright
I know, I know
(I never imagined my life could turn out this way
So cold so black so alone)

Does he believe this is the lie that is uncovered in life, is it the lie he swallowed, that he believed because his heart wanted to? Cold... black... alone. What a description of hell, isolated, deprived of all warmth and light. Does he think that sometimes light can't win over darkness?

Sometimes it feels like that. But darkness overcomes light only when you and I agree to let it. No matter how tiny a light is, it will always be stronger than the dark, no matter how vast the darkness is. Two thousands years ago light came into the world and it's never been the same since,

The Word was first,
the Word present to God,
God present to the Word.
The Word was God,
in readiness for God from day one.
Everything was created through him;
nothing—not one thing!—
came into being without him.
What came into existence was Life,
and the Life was Light to live by.
The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness;
the darkness couldn't put it out.

The Life-Light was the real thing:
Every person entering Life
he brings into Light.
He was in the world,
the world was there through him,
and yet the world didn't even notice.
He came to his own people,
but they didn't want him.
But whoever did want him,
who believed he was who he claimed
and would do what he said,
He made to be their true selves,
their child-of-God selves.
These are the God-begotten,
not blood-begotten,
not flesh-begotten,
not sex-begotten.

The Word became flesh and blood,
and moved into the neighborhood.
We saw the glory with our own eyes,
the one-of-a-kind glory,
like Father, like Son,
Generous inside and out,
true from start to finish.

We all live off his generous bounty,
gift after gift after gift.
We got the basics from Moses,
and then this exuberant giving and receiving,
This endless knowing and understanding—
all this came through Jesus, the Messiah.
No one has ever seen God,
not so much as a glimpse.
This one-of-a-kind God-Expression,
who exists at the very heart of the Father,
has made him plain as day.

How about it? Would you like to be your true self? Would you like to live in such a way that no matter the vagaries of life, no matter the breath taking disasters, and the pounding of calamities, no matter the unexpected devastation of losses, light and warmth and love will aways be there for you?

You can choose. Come into the light, be flooded and saturated with the bright whiteness of life. Say yes to the rescue Jesus offers you.

If this post got you to thinking, please leave a comment and join the conversation

Waking The Fallen (2003) "Clairvoyant Disease"

[reprinted as written by Avenged Sevenfold]
As performed by A7X

Dust begins to fall, to the ground
The air is cold and thin
Thoughts are haunting me as I look around
This will never end and I'll bleed forever

Don't acknowledge right, just dwell on wrong
This spot in hell's where I belong
I've come so far - it's been so long
Don't know why it started or where it came from

Outside shell is strong - confident
But slowly eats away
Like a man plagued with disease, I try to fight
Through my pores it seems to seep...
I'll bleed forever

And you sit there and do nothing
You're content with doing nothing

There's nowhere to run and hide
when you're living to die
Stuck alone inside your head,
better off dead
The phone would ring in the empty house,
no one's around.

But in my life, I wanted more, I needed more
I taste more

There are two voices here, made more easily discernible when this poem is sung. One voice is the poet himself,

Thoughts are haunting me...
Outside shell is strong - confident...
I try to fight...
But in my life, I wanted more, I needed more
I taste more

The other voice is Depression,

I'll bleed forever...
Don't acknowledge right, just dwell on wrong
This spot in hell's where I belong
But slowly eats away
Like a man plagued with disease...
Through my pores it seems to seep...

Back and forth, the poet is stuck inside his head, torn between his desire to live and his haunting thoughts. He senses there is more, and he longs for it, but his thoughts want to dwell on what's wrong.

He rages,

I've come so far - it's been so long
Don't know why it started or where it came from

Then he turns in frustration at the climax of his jeremiad, screaming,

And you sit there and do nothing
You're content with doing nothing

Who is this person who holds him back? What is it the poet expects of this person? Is it himself? Is it his lover, his parent, his caregiver, his God? Is it fair for him to lash out at this person?

Freedom from depression comes with the transformation of truth washing the mind clean. Know the truth, believe it so deeply it becomes the way you see life, so that it becomes the way you think and live. No person can hold you back when you have the truth; no person can keep you stuck, but you may need to be willing to allow them to lag behind you as they grapple with truth in their own time.

Truth is available and knowable, it always has been. But there are forces of darkness that would have us believe otherwise, that would have us dwell on the wrong, to be ultimately dragged down into despair.

While it is true that sometimes those who suffer from depression also need medicine to help correct the chemical imbalances in their physical brain, it is always true that you will need truth for the health of your spirit and your soul. So says our Rescuer,

"Jesus turned to the ones who had claimed to believe in him. "If you stick with this, living out what I tell you...then you will experience for yourselves the truth, and the truth will free you"

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Waking The Fallen (2003) "I Won't See You Tonight Part 2"

[reprinted as written by Avenged Sevenfold]
As performed by A7X

Come back to me, this is unconceivable
Breaking apart the ones you love
Hate runs deep for what you've done to us
Left alone through suicide...suicide

I just want to die, take away my life
lay by your side, please:.

Look at my face you pierce with a blank stare
No dream could prepare a heart for a lifeless friend.
He's gone. Nothing will take back time.
I need him back, but nothing will take back time.
(take back time)

I can see just fine, you in my life,
there by my side as it starts to fade
I know this can't be right, stuck in a dream
a nightmare full of sorrow
Nightmare - full of pain

I look back and see the twisted road
Best friends and despair took its toll
Take away

You can't be replaced
I'm left alone with you
in spirit and the words
you wrote to me

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
all the ones around me, I cared for
and most of all I loved
but I can't see myself that way
please don't forget me
or cry while I'm away

The heart of this poem, after the screams of impotent rage, of enraged grief, horror and the growing realization of what's happened, is the quiet inner mourning

You can't be replaced
I'm left alone with you
in spirit and the words
you wrote to me

For the person staring at the bottles of perscription drugs, or the glint of the razor, or the swirling waves so far beneath the bridge, standing on the ledge watching the ants of cars and people scurry back and forth in the distance, watching the rope hang softly from the hand that holds it...feeling such depths of suffering and an almost elated anticipation of peace just a few moments away, if only I swallow these pills, or cut these wrists, or take two small steps off this precipice, or kick this chair away....

It seems a distant prospect to think of what will be left behind, the train wreck of grief and devastation that everyone else will endure as they try to make sense of suicide.

The hope for relief seems to overshadow any love, any sense of faithfulness on the part of the one contemplating taking his or her own life. But underneath that hypnotic craving for peace is also anger, and suicide is the ultimate take-back, the ultimate last word.

How do you pick up the pieces? How do you get beyond the heavy load of guilt -- if only you had said more, or done more, or been there for this person during those crucial last moments? If only your love had been stronger, if only...

Look at my face you pierce with a blank stare
No dream could prepare a heart for a lifeless friend.
He's gone. Nothing will take back time.
I need him back, but nothing will take back time.

And therein lies the key. King David knew what it was to lose someone to death -- to meaningless death. His soul brother, the friend of his heart, two spirits woven into one, had died in a battle that everyone knew was doomed. But King Saul, who later fell on his own sword when he knew the battle was lost, was obdurate. A man of faithfulness, Jonathan fought by his father's side, knowing he would die that day.

David had to move on. He was king. The nation looked to him for leadership on that tragic day. Heavy with grief, the king wrote a warrior's dirge for his beloved friend. That experience would prepare him for an even more painful wrestling with death years later.

King David's love child lay sick and dying and he was desolate. He stopped eating, he stopped bathing, he stopped being king of his country. Instead, day and night, he lay in a miserable heap, begging God to spare the baby's life. He was just a tiny innocent soul. It was not his fault that he had been conceived in sin.

But God gathered the little one to Himself, taking him back only days after he had been born.

What could the stricken king do? Wearily he pushed himself up off the ground, and went to the table to break his fast. Then he washed himself, put back on his robe and crown, and went out to face his country which needed him.

What can you and I do when someone else betrays us? Because yes, that's what suicide is, the ultimate betrayal of love and life. We mourn, and then we move forward in life. We stop the rings of pain from getting wider by choosing life, and choosing love, again. King David comforted his wife, and she bore another son. That son became Israel's wealthiest and wisest king.

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Waking The Fallen (2003) "I Won't See You Tonight Part I"

[reprinted as written by Avenged Sevenfold]
As performed by A7X live; or for a crisper rendition

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
But I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
all the ones around me,
I cared for and loved

It all built up, inside of me
A place so dark, so cold,
I had to set me free
Don't mourn for me,
you're not the one
to place the blame
As bottles called my name,
I won't see you tonight

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
all the ones around me,
I cared for and loved
most of all I loved
but I can't see myself that way
please don't forget me
or cry while I'm away

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
But I've made the change,
I won't see you tonight

So far away, I'm gone.
Please don't follow me tonight.
And while I'm gone,
everything will be alright.

No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight (x2)

Some know this pain that saturates the soul, a sense of sorrow so complete that it seems only death can offer relief. Torture becomes peace, agony turns into tranquility, thinking that as life ebbs, so does unbearable suffering.

Five hundred years ago Martin Luther gathered a young boy in his arms who had hung himself and vowed to the boy's parents that he would be buried in holy ground ~ something the church, at that time, denied to suicides. "The devil murdered this boy," Luther cried out to everyone gathered around, as he slammed his shovel into the ground, digging the boy's grave.

Do you think God doesn't know the depths of despair in this song? Do you think He doesn't understand the heavy waves of hopelessness sweeping over the despondent one, or the quiet desparation of the soul that feels like silent drowning? Among some such desolation is called the dark night of the soul.

Jesus knew what it was to cry tears of anguish, to be utterly alone, to be abandoned, betrayed, to seem a complete failure.

It's so hard to get perspective when a person is inside such intense misery. But maybe this will help:

Godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death

“God, please get me through this suffering.” Unfortunately there is no short and tidy answer for why you are suffering. There is no formula for feeling better. Sometimes the ready made phrases we say to each other, when we mean well, actually make things seem worse –

“I know just what you’re going through” sounds empty sometimes, when what you’re going through is devastating. “Don’t worry, it’s all for the best” doesn’t help when it’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. “It’s God’s will” makes you want to feel angry and bitter towards God, and “You’ve got to stop crying and start living again” doesn’t sound encouraging, it sounds kind of heartless, like there’s a statute of limitations on hurting.

Though all these things may be true, they just don’t help when you’re experiencing emotional agony. When you’ve been in a car accident, you don’t need your doctor to explain to you why you’re bleeding everywhere, or to assure you that you won’t miss that arm after a while. You need your doctor to stop the bleeding, sew you up and help you heal.

God understands. Very often the last thing God will do when you and I are suffering is to explain the reasons why we’re suffering. That’s something He saves for later, sometimes much later. What He will always do, however, is help us to endure the terrible pain, and make it through in one piece.

God says yes to all who come to Him for help and comfort, when they are in the middle of something hard. He may not stop the suffering, or prevent it from happening in the first place, or alleviate the situation in any way. This maybe is one of the biggest stumbling blocks to faith there is, but you and I need to face it head on – God allows a lot of terrible things to happen. Just look what happened to our Lord Jesus Christ. He knew very well the pain He was about to suffer, and prayed “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup be taken away from Me.” At the eleventh hour, the Son pleased with the Father. But He also added “Yet not as I will, but as You will.”

No matter what kind of suffering you have to endure, God will give you a way through it. Not a way out of suffering itself, but out of the hopelessness that suffering often leads you to. The apostle Paul said God will not let you be tested beyond your strength. With your trial, He will also provide you with a means of escape, so that you will be able to endure it (1 Cor 10:13)

The Father sent His son an angel to help Him. God will also help you, and provide for you, to console you, help you and fortify you through whatever you are going through right now.

Death and suffering are not a normal part of life. They may be facts of life, but they are not “good” or “normal” in any way. Something went terribly wrong at the beginning of human history. Life was never meant to be this way, but because of what happened in the Garden of Eden, you and I suffer today.

But God, in the Lord Jesus Christ, suffered, too. He knows, intimately, what it’s like to experience what you’re experiencing, and because of the cross, He can make His power available to you, and to me. When you say “God, please get me through this suffering” He will actually walk with you through the pain and get you to the other side.

If this post got you to thinking, please leave a comment and join the conversation

Waking The Fallen (2003) "Radiant Eclipse"

[reprinted as written by Avenged Sevenfold]
As performed by A7X

Two nights ago I was shot
A bullet sunk straight through my skull
A friend pulled the trigger that silenced me
No pain as I awoke, but dead
Seeing the face of the man
The time as he lays down his gun
I knew this was going to take place
White silence, so peaceful, so numb

No one knows the time they're changing
No one will see through:

You're all gone to me, (gone to me)
I've been pulled out to watch from my eternal sleep
Intuition and a warning to believe (I will believe)
Something was wrong and though I felt I had to stay
Moving on seemed to be somber bliss
Without one goodbye
I watch my Mother shed tears
(and taste the blood she cries
and taste the blood she cries)

No:This gun has stopped time in its tracks
Has altered the course of my fate
Destiny is shattered and timeless
Closed eyes feel the cold winds embrace

I'll watch you call, calling for me,
you can't bring back time...
Close your eyes or look away,
fate exposed and won't let me stay
Hope will fall tonight with broken wings,
descending entity in me

My voice has been taken from me.
The more I listen, the more I have to say

Like a ballad, the poet sings a tragic tale of life cut short. Betrayal comes through a friend ~ we almost hear Caesar's famous words to his beloved nephew, "Et tu, Brutus?"

The poet sees all, the treachery of his friend, the shredded grief of his mother spilling tears of blood, the shattering of his destiny, the desparate cries of his friends trying to call him back to life. But nothing can change the finality of his death.

Now that he is in this spirit realm he senses peace, silence, numbness, the promise of somber bliss. He watches as broken hopes and broken dreams coalesce in his body, stilled by the cold embrace of death. What keeps him here, gazing down on this awful scene, is the wrongness of it. He's been pulled out of what would be his eternal sleep to stay in this strange halfway place.

Now as he listens he realizes, poignantly, that he has something important to say, a warning to believe...but death has taken his voice from him.

How do you feel about the poet's claim that fate can be altered? Who is in control in this story? Not even the poet, but the betrayer, who lays down his smoking gun, having now silenced the voice he no longer wanted to hear.

Where was God? Why would He allow the destiny of anyone to be destroyed? How could any good come from such ruin? How could this tableau be anything different than what we are given to see, the young hero lying in the widening pool of his own blood, his mother kneeling beside him, wracked with sobs, the betrayer shadowed in the background, wails rising from his stunned and devastated friends?

Change the picture only a little and there is Jesus, dead in His mother's arms, John and the others ravaged by grief, dark Judas slipping quietly away.

In the physical earthly realm passersby saw a man shredded by flogging, naked, hanging on a cross between two known felons. His crime was posted over his head, “King of the Jews.” Not much to report, just another sordid crucifixion brought to you by the Roman empire.

But in the spiritual heavenly realm a vast transaction was taking place, immeasurable in size. In fact, what was happening on the spiritual plane finally affected the earthly realm to such a degree that all the light was sucked out of the area, and darkness completely blanketed the crucified Lord. That was heavily indicative of what it cost God to redeem His people from sin and death.

“Redemption” was originally a technical term, used in the ancient near east, in the world of commerce. It was used specifically in connection with the buying and selling of slaves. A person being sold as a slave could be purchased to own, or could be “redeemed” for the express purpose of being set free. The price of redemption was called a “ransom.”

In Jesus’ day slavery was pretty commonplace. You could offer yourself as a slave, which people routinely did in order to pay off debts or provide for their families, and that’s what Adam and Eve originally did, they freely entered into sin’s employ. Your parents could sell you as a child into slavery, and in a sense that happened with the whole human race, since Adam and Eve consigned all their descendants to sin’s slavery. Finally, you could be born a slave of slave parents, and that is exactly what happened with you and me, and all people. We were born slaves to sin.

When you belong to sin, all sin will give you, in the end, is increasing wickedness, corruption and death and there is no way out except to be redeemed by someone who doesn’t belong to the same master. We could never have redeemed ourselves, because everything you and I might have tried to lay claim to by way of payment already belonged to our master, sin.

In order to purchase a slave, something of value had to be exchanged, whether the coin of the realm or some other product that could be used as cash. Peter said that Jesus paid with something that was even more valuable than silver or gold, which, after all, as precious as it is, is still perishable.

Without Jesus you and I would have been condemned to a life of sin ending in death. Jesus did more than dig into His treasure to pay a ransom for us, to rescue us from our cruel master of sin. In order for Jesus to pay what would be recognized by God as the coin of the realm, He had to become a man, He had to have a life that He could live perfectly, without one sin, without one way that sin or death could have a hold on Him.

Jesus substituted Himself for us, He took the penalty for us. In a way the ransom He had to pay, the only ransom that would be accepted, was to give His life in our place, to take all the sin into Himself and to allow the wrath of God to consume our sin in Him. Jesus redeemed us from our empty lives with His own blood, the blood of a perfect sacrificial lamb.

Jesus actually redeemed people to set them free, to give people the choice again to live in righteousness, and to have eternal life. The Apostle Paul said, “You were bought with a price...Therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s”. There is no way we could ever repay the Lord, and what He has given to us is of such incredible value, incalculable value, there is nothing less that we could give back in gratitude except to devote our whole selves to Him.

God has a purpose in the darkest, most awful moments in your life. What is that purpose? Take a risk. Ask Him expecting an answer.

[It's possible the poet was writing about more than an ordinary person]

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Waking The Fallen (2003) "Second Heartbeat"

[reprinted as written by Avenged Sevenfold]
As performed by A7X

Gone...
We keep writing, talking and planning, but everything's changing.
We all know what to do but know one does it.
Now this time has passed and full of regret.
Two in my heart have left me a while, I stand alone.
When they get back, it won't be the same.
My life, you've always been there.
Now you're gone and my heads spinning.
Left the childhood, left the memories, left the good times in the past.
Moving on your time has run out.
Wishing the clock would stand still, the world can wait.
Wasting away once again, once lived as friends.

As time passes by, regrets for the rest of my life.
The ones who I confide were gone in the black of the night.

Never will I forget you, and all the memories past.
So rarely I get to see your face.
Growing I looked to you in guidance.
We knew that time would kill us, but you're still so close to me.

To me you were my life.
To me you were my soul companion.
Now you are so far away.
Nothing can take away the time and the memories we had.
Come back - to the days when we were young
Come back - to the days when nothing mattered.

Written in dedication to the death of someone close to the poet, but also written in dedication to another kind of death, the death of a close relationship, he mourns

Two in my heart have left me a while, I stand alone

The poem begins with one heart wrenching word,

Gone

and ends with the broken hearted plea,

Come back

One person can never come back, having gone forever into the darkness of death. The other person keeps writing, talking and planning but it never comes to anything, they're just empty words, "Let's do lunch some time," "I'll give you a call."

We all long for permanency, for faithfulness, especially in relationships, yet so often we give each other goodbye instead. Who among us doesn't carry the ache of an ended relationship that isn't really over in our hearts? We knew that time would kill us, but you're still so close to me

What are the excuses? I fell out of love. We grew apart. I met someone else. I'm not that person anymore. I got tired of taking their stuff. Sometimes a person's heart takes a beating early in life, and then the door is closed to deeply trust and love again. Then infidelity becomes a safety hatch from ever loving like that again, and also ever getting hurt like that again.

One of the deepest relationships ever known is found in the ancient record of King David's life. His friend, King Saul's son Jonathan, loved him as life itself

To me you were my life

And in the words of that thousands of years old story, "the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul"

To me you were my soul companion

They covenanted with each other to love each other for all their lives, to take care of each others' families and always have each others' backs. When Jonathan died with his father Saul in battle, David, the composer of half the Psalms in the Bible, wrote this lament

O my dear brother Jonathan,
I'm crushed by your death.
Your friendship was a miracle-wonder,
love far exceeding anything I've known—
or ever hope to know

David had married Jonathan's sister Michal. But Saul had become insanely jealous of David's popularity and was afraid that the people would depose him and make David their king, thus toppling not only Saul's reign, but thwarting his dynasty in bypassing Jonathan. So he tried to kill David, causing David to run for his life. Michal chose to stay behind, and eventually remarried.

These two deaths, the death of his beloved soul-brother, and the death of his marriage, cut deep into David's spirit. He tried to get Michal back, causing the breakup of her second marriage. But Michal only criticized David, and never bore children to him. David found Jonathan's son Mephibosheth, and brought him into his home to live with him as his own son. But Mephibosheth was only the shadow of his father...

When they get back, it won't be the same

Like the poet, David was crying out "Come back!" But the days of the past can't be brought back.

David began adding wives to his household, falling in love, trying again to find that deep intimacy he had known in his youth. But what he didn't do was be faithful. Faithfulness must have seemed too risky. Being true to only one person left a person open to abandonment of either death or rejection. David's faithlessness came full circle when, even though he could have had any woman he wanted, as King of Israel, he took the wife of a friend who was loyal to him, who was out fighting David's battles while King David stayed home at his palace, dallying with Bathsheba.

When she got pregnant, David sent his loyal friend out to the front lines with secret instructions to his general to make sure Uriah was killed...

Broken marriage, death of a faithful friend.

How can there be healing when the wound runs that deep, cuts through even the bone and sinew and leaves a person so broken inside?

Here's the poem David wrote when he was finally ready to talk about it with God, to admit to what he had done, the way he had worked out the terrible hurts he had experienced,

Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you are proved right when you speak
and justified when you judge.

Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.

Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.

You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.

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