Monday, July 5, 2010

City Of Evil (2005) "Betrayed"

[reprinted as written by Avenged Sevenfold]
As performed by A7X

Passion in my eyes, I lived it everyday, but how could you go throw it all away?
In my dreams it's me and you, it's there I saw it all come true
As time went by faith in you grew, so one thing's left for me to do

I feel it burn inside, burn in me like the rising sun
Lifted into the sky, took away the only thing I loved
I know after tonight all your power crumbles in my arms
So don't worry, I'll be fine, when my life ends, I'll leave this scar

When I fell down, I needed you there
Every note and every word seems so hard to take
Finally, In destiny

A smoking gun in hand, now don't you realize what you've done
Put a bullet in his back, your hero since you were so young
How could you kill the man who brought salvation through your pain
He must mean everything to end it all this shameful way

Passion in my eyes, I lived it everyday, but how could you go throw it all away?
In my dreams it's me and you, it's there I saw it all come true
As time went by faith in you grew, so one thing's left for me to do

I started here so young and helped you get along
Just did it for the love, and people healed through us
Don't live you life in vain, don't take it out on me
You're cracked, so just remember, I'm not your enemy
I don't deserve to fall this way, by a man who felt betrayed

I felt so down now you're around to rescue me
Every note and every word I'm listening, yeah
Sometimes problems seem too deep to take
Sometimes I cry thinking my future looks so bleak

Finally, together we were destined, I know what's best for us in the end
Someone hear me, someone stop me, someone listen, why aren't you listening?

Passion in my eyes, I lived it everyday, but how could you go throw it all away?
In my dreams it's me and you, it's there I saw it all come true
As time went by faith in you grew, so one thing's left for me to do
In my dreams it's me and you, it's there I saw it all come true
As time went by faith in you grew, so one thing's left to finish you (hahaha)

Written in dedication to Dimebag Darrell, he was "remembered for his amiable nature and rapport with fans, [and] described by Allmusic as 'one of the most influential stylists in modern metal.' On December 8, 2004, Abbott was murdered on stage..."

"Abbott was shot while performing with Damageplan at the Alrosa Villa in Columbus, Ohio.

"The gunman was Nathan Gale, who shot Abbott five times, including once in the head, killing him instantly. Gale then continued shooting, killing three others and wounding a further seven. Gale fired a total of fifteen shots, taking the time to reload once and remaining silent throughout the shooting.

"...the gunman was not angry about Pantera's breakup [the band Abbott and his brother founded before Damageplan] or about a belief that Pantera had "stolen songs;" [that Gale had written]. [I]nstead, the documents suggest that Gale's paranoid schizophrenia caused delusions that the band could read his mind, and that they were "stealing" his thoughts and laughing at him."

The point of view in this song seems to shift from the killer, "Passion in my eyes," to Dimebag, "When I fell down," to an accusing voice, perhaps within Gale's head, "Now don't you realize what you've done?" And returns to Gale's conscious thought for the remainder of the piece.

We see an obsession develop, an imagined union between the killer and his object, his faith growing in the rock star, an imagined savior, saving not only Gale but, together with him, healing the world. He hung on every note and every word. But something happened, some dark turning, a problem "too deep to take," overcame him, and though he desperately cried out for someone to stop him, the worshipper killed his god.

Gale idolized Darrell. But his idol did not fulfill him. Instead, his idolizing caused him to become increasingly undone by his imaginings, that Darrell and the other band members knew his inmost thoughts (as a god would do) but found him laughable, despicable. As in "Equus," he felt his only recourse was to forever shut the knowing eyes that stripped his soul bare.

It appears we are designed to worship, as recent research seems to indicate. People want gods. But you and I - remember Adam and Eve - want it our way, a god we're used to, a god we know how to manage, and who will produce the things we're used to asking for, and who we can worship in the way we've always enjoyed. We want a god who will give us what we want, so we're willing to jump through whatever hoops we think the god demands of us, so long as it keeps its side of the bargain we think we're striking with it, and comes up with the goods.

An idol is something within creation that begins to function as a substitute for God. It can be anything, even something that's otherwise very good and noble. It can be an object, a person, an activity, a sport, a role you play, an institution or an organization, an idea, a pleasure, a hero, your family, your work, it can even be yourself – anything can become a substitute for God. It might not completely replace God; it may be only a part of your life.

Idolatry is not necessarily a denial of God or His existence. An idol may be a perfectly good thing in its own right. But at the point where loyalty to any thing or any person leads you and me to push aside God, we are in danger of making that thing, or person - or even feeling - an idol.

People look to idols to find meaning in life, for developing a sense of “righteousness” or worth. It's something that you discover is central to your life in the way that only God should be central – anything that holds such a controlling position in your life that you feel God alone would not be sufficient to make you happy; whether or not you have God you know you must have your idol.

The fundamental problem behind sin is idolatry – even pride can be idolatry when it stems from an addiction to /idolizing of one’s own self. Idolatry is always the reason why you and I do or say something that’s wrong, or dwell in thoughts and feelings that are wrong. We are revealing that there is something we feel we must have besides God to feel happy, there is something more important to your heart and mine than faith in God.

When God lets your life be rocked, what do you see toppling? What might be too important to you right now? Is there something you are telling yourself you have to have? Is there something that is interfering with putting your faith in God?

1) You are angry because you are being blocked from having something you feel you is necessary – but it really isn’t

2) You are fearful or badly worried because something is being threatened which you feel is a necessity – but it really isn’t

3) You are despondent or hating yourself because you have lost something or failed at something you feel was a necessity – but it really wasn’t

Repentance is a great first step, but idols are not replaced by repentance. Love of idols can only be replaced by a love of something else that is richer and more satisfying. The antidote to idolatry is to deeply understand what it means to be chosen by God, to know God and be known by God, loved and blessed by God, to belong to God as His most precious, most beloved possession, to be filled in every pore, every fiber by God’s glorious grace, His lavish love, by the refreshment of His Holy Spirit.

It is impossible from our end to try and make ourselves love something less just because we know we should. It is impossible from our end to try and generate love for something that we know we should love more. But with God anything is possible. Ask Him for help.

If this post got you to thinking, please leave a comment and join the conversation


  1. It seems to me that an aspect of idolatry is a construction of a fantasy. There was the real Dimebag Darrell, and then there was the idolized version in the killer's head. Someone could be thinking that winning the Lotto would fix what's wrong in their life, but then there's the reality and it doesn't happen.
    I think that it's possible to even make an idol out of God, the idol being a fantasy creation. But does it matter to God if our belief in God isn't 100% accurate? This is where Grace comes in!
    The father is just happy to see his prodigal son come back, he doesn't really care that the son had the wrong idea about how he would be received by his father!

  2. Good thoughts, and I'd agree with you, the idolization of Dimebag was a fantasy because the real Dimebag was a man not a god (an incredible musician and well-liked, but still...human being).

    And yes again, even God could, in a sense, be turned into an idol. In fact, a close reading of the text in Exodus shows that God was guarding against this very thing by telling the Hebrews NOT to make a golden image of GOD. If they made an idol to represent God then they would be in danger of shrinking God down to idol size in their minds and hearts.

    Amen to your thoughts on grace. I'm betting the most gracious person ever still does not truly tap into the vastness of God's grace. Still, it is better to strive for a biblical view of God.

    Think about it this way. If you're in a relationship with someone who idolizes you that might feel neat for a while. But as time rolls on you begin to realize that the relationship can never go deep because that person doesn't really know you, the real you, and therefore the person they love is not really the real you.

    It's better for them to let go of the fantasy and get to know who you really are, even if that might hold some disappointments at first. Genuine relationship has to be based on really knowing someone and loving what you know.

    I speak from experience! I idolized my husband the first few years. But what we share now is far more satisfying for us both because it's based on really knowing each other, warts and all (of course God has no warts!)

    Make sense?


Thank you for sharing your thoughts