Waking The Fallen (2003) "Desecrate Through Reverance"

[reprinted as written by Avenged Sevenfold]
As performed by A7X

Hard news, taken harder, don't look to me
Disappointed, we don't agree, I don't need your praise...
(don't look my way for help,
from the beginning you came to me)
Never asked you to like me,
I don't want your praise (we won't play your games)
Look down on me, spit in my face,
you're nothing to me:not to me

Darkened eyes you'll see,
there is no hope, no savior in me
(don't look this way, don't breathe this way,
don't stare this way, anymore)
Learned from years gone by, no one will care,
what happens to me
(don't look this way, don't breathe this way,
don't stare this way, anymore)

My presence won't be ignored, no not today
Don't walk in my direction, turn the other way
(don't look my way for help,
from the beginning you came to me)
Asking questions, predetermined answers,
you won't find them here (we don't want your opinion)
And I don't want you, I won't let you think,
compromise is near. 'Cause it's not near.

I'm alone in here
No more feelings
Killed my fears
Don't ask
you'll never know
you're left behind and I'll be exposed

Far away, you keep on trying...
Holding me down, breaking away,
trying to distance my life.
Not one in the crowd, but one with the answer
the one that could change your mind

But it's not true, I don't know you
Don't waste your time, and don't waste mine
I'm not your friend, I won't soothe your soul
And in the end you're all dead to me....

Who is the poet speaking to? He has received some devastating news made all the harder as everyone watches him. The onlookers try to pursuade the poet to change his mind about something, to meet them halfway. They hold out affection to him, hoping that some small part of what they hoped for in him will now save the day.

The poet's response ~ a volcano of rage, bitter disgust, absolute repulsion. He has set his way in his heart and there is now no turning back, no compromise is possible, no love will be returned. Underneath the rage is a sense of desolation, the small boy inside who feels abandoned and betrayed, utterly alone. The only way he can see to survive this roiling cauldron of emotions is to become numb to his feelings, all of them, the love that was destroyed, terror of what he has done, horror at the consequences, his soul stripped by shame and humiliation.

I'm alone in here
No more feelings
Killed my fears
Don't ask
you'll never know
you're left behind and I'll be exposed

Something has happened deep inside him. Born into a sin-wracked world, to corrupted parents, the weight of expectations for granduer placed heavily on his dimpled baby shoulders, he grew up with a sense of entitlement and self-importance.

But instead of saving the world, he brought humanity to an even deeper level of decay, now the tortured earth cries out with his brother's shed blood. He is humankind's first murderer. For as Adam, his father, brought death into the world, so Cain brought death to Adam's feet. Every person who walks across the family's field will remember Cain, the blood of Abel soaking into the soles of their sandals.

Now Cain sees the truth about himself. He not only was never entitled to special favors, he never was any different than anyone else. He is just a man, a sinful man. But instead of this truth humbling him, it acts as a forge that hardens his soul

Darkened eyes you'll see,
there is no hope, no savior in me

Instead of turning away from the darkness, he openes his soul to it, becomes saturated with the inky dye of enmity to all that was before: his family, his life, his God.

I don't know you
Don't waste your time, and don't waste mine
I'm not your friend, I won't soothe your soul
And in the end you're all dead to me....

Why did Cain go in this direction? In fact, why do any of us? What is it about darkness that is so alluring, that seems so empowering?

Here's what the apostle Paul had to say at the beginning of his letter to believers who lived in Rome,

People try to put a shroud over truth. But the basic reality of God is plain enough. Open your eyes and there it is! By taking a long and thoughtful look at what God has created, people have always been able to see what their eyes as such can't see: eternal power, for instance, and the mystery of his divine being. So nobody has a good excuse. What happened was this: People knew God perfectly well, but when they didn't treat him like God, refusing to worship him, they trivialized themselves into inanity and confusion so that there was neither sense nor direction left in their lives.

They pretended to know it all, but were illiterate regarding life. They traded the glory of God who holds the whole world in his hands for cheap figurines you can buy at any roadside stand.

So God said, in effect, "If that's what you want, that's what you get." It wasn't long before they were living in a pigpen, smeared with filth, filthy inside and out. And all this because they traded the true God for a fake god, and worshiped the god they made instead of the God who made them—the God we bless, the God who blesses us.

Worse followed. Refusing to know God, they soon didn't know how to be human either—women didn't know how to be women, men didn't know how to be men. Sexually confused, they abused and defiled one another, women with women, men with men—all lust, no love. And then they paid for it, oh, how they paid for it—emptied of God and love, godless and loveless wretches.

Since they didn't bother to acknowledge God, God quit bothering them and let them run loose. And then all hell broke loose: rampant evil, grabbing and grasping, vicious backstabbing. They made life hell on earth with their envy, wanton killing, bickering, and cheating...

They keep inventing new ways of wrecking lives...cruel, cold-blooded. And it's not as if they don't know better. They know perfectly well they're spitting in God's face. And they don't care—worse, they hand out prizes to those who do the worst things best!

How could Cain have found a way back from where he found himself? He burned all his bridges to his past life, even his bridge to God. Every day he chose to keep his back towards God and to build his own Paradise. But could he have ever come back to God? Ever?

Yes. There is always a way back. For whatever bridge Cain burned down, God was ready to build another; all Cain had to do was turn back and around and see. For every passionate and aching Cain in the Bible there is another passionate and aching soul who does cry out to God from that terrified and lonely pit of despair "Please rescue me!" That's who the Rescuer has come to save.

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